I sat yesterday to write about this, but couldn’t, I just couldn’t find words. I am still unable to express what I am feeling; it’s a mix of anger, frustration, sorrow, guilt, helplessness, shame. Since yesterday, every Pakistani is going through these emotions. I feel my whole being should just cease to exist. These atrocities have been going on in this land for years and our ears, eyes and brains just got accustomed to hearing this and then to forget after some months, why? What are we? Why our children had to be the ones who had to go through all this, to shake our conscious?
It is said that to feel someone’s pain you have to put yourself into their shoes. One cannot feel close to what the loved ones of those children are going through, what those children went through, those who survived are going through. It feels like someone ripped apart a piece of my own heart; a part of my soul has been taken.
I may be getting extra emotional I don’t know but since yesterday I just can’t stand anyone smiling, around me, in the markets, on streets, on TV. How can you smile in time like this? How can anyone smile… Humanity, determination, courage all these words which I hear all around me since yesterday mostly on tv news channels they seem so hollow, so meaningless, almost bringing a bit of anger from inside me, that what good will it do now.
I spent the whole day today sitting in the ER of the hospital. My dad (a heart patient) had a severe attack of high blood pressure in the morning, which doctor’s said was due to tension which we all knew came from where; as he took the news about Peshawar Attack incident pretty hard and thought about it during the night. A guy like me who is in his 20’s is still having trouble to go through all this, my dad who is in his 60’s and a father how he could not have felt it. We put flowers on graves, yesterday they put our flowers into the graves.
Those kids who saw their classmates die, those who saw their teacher burnt alive in front of them they would not be the same anymore.
They killed their childhood along with all those children they killed. Keep Pakistan in your prayers that may Peace reign on this land again.
Please remember those children who survived in Peshawar attack in your prayers. Remember all those 132 children who passed away, May they Rest in Peace, along with their family’s that may God give them strength to bear their loss.
They were our little brothers our little sisters our nieces our nephews, sunshine of our lives, future of our land, flowers of our garden.